Conversations with myself while I’m stuck in traffic

Road rage pep talks

Today I took a wrong turn and ended up in the heart of down town Johannesburg at 5 o’clock. At some point I was stuck at an intersection trying to turn right with two taxis on either side of me trying to pass me into the throng of cars and curses, leaning through their windows and rapping at my boot, shouting at me to go! (Where?). I almost cried, but then I checked the oke opposite me (I was blocking his way), and he was leaning back in his bakkie, with a huge grin on his face. Whether he was laughing at me or not is irrelevant, at that time I decided, just relax. Instead of panicking and crying like I almost always do, I gave myself a pep talk (which I recorded on my phone). This is how it went (in Q&A format):

Where are you?

I’m in Joburg.

What are you doing?

Trying not to die.

How did you get here?

I didn’t listen when GPS lady said turn left.

So where are you now?


What are you doing?

Staying alive.

What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

Getting onto Albertina Sizulu Drive.

And then?

Home to Sean and my dogs.

What will you do tomorrow?

Get back on the road.

What do we call this?


I got home an hour later and took the dog for a quick run around the block.


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