Flawed

What is your worst quality?

My first response to this prompt is quite telling.

“Bitch please, I ain’t got no flaws!”

I can pick out four flaws in that one sentence.

– I’m too defensive.

– I use expletives too often to convey my emotions.

– I make horrid grammatical errors, and I use too many exclamation points.

– I can’t pull off sounding black, no matter how hard I try. And I really shouldn’t try.

Ever lied on your job application? I did. I said I was flexible and adaptable to change. Yet, this morning when I saw the new WordPress colours I considered quitting this blog. What is this, Facebook? I don’t like change.

I get irrationally angry at EVERYONE, and then I can’t remember why I was angry, but that bitch mother %^$&%&$% better stop popping her gum or else I’m smackthat U&*&%*&^%(&*7y8975&%*^*@!

The worst flaw is though that I think there is something wrong with me and that I hide my true self from people who I want to like me. So instead of letting people know I’m crazy, I try to act all demure and sweet, making them think I’m aΒ puΒ pushover. And then I feel trapped and controlled and allow my crazy to slosh around in my skull like acid in a plastic vat.

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5 thoughts on “Flawed

  1. Love how you wrote this. You don’t sound crazy, you sound human. For the record I agree with the change thing on wordpress, just getting used to how it was and they go and change it!
    I prefer to be myself no matter what, if people don’t take me as I am well #%#@ them πŸ˜‰

    • Thank you for checking out my posts! I shouldn’t be faced with change so early in the morning! I’m so young, I care way too much what people think! I’m trying to stop though! Acknowledging the problem is the first step, right?

  2. Yes, that is the first step. It is so very hard not to be ourselves for fear of what others think or how others judge us. Though it is not something we should do, who are they to judge us or make us change who we are?

  3. Ha! Great post! Totally relate. I’m sometimes afraid to be my true bitchy, cranky self. Instead, I’ll just stay quiet. It’s not that I don’t like who I am. I do! I just think that people won’t “get” me.

    • Thanks! I think it’s important to realise who the important people in our lives are, and trust they will love us enough to handle all the crazy.

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