It’s way past my bedtime and I haven’t written my daily post yet. I’m currently reading Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk, so all my thoughts are jumbled with permanent present tense active verbs, jarred sentences and quotes from dead fascists and warmongers. I race to The Daily Post page for some inspiration, and the daily prompt is this:
Tell us about something you’ve done that you would advise a friend never to do.
I can’t think in a straight line anymore, so I log on to Facebook to find some dodgy photographs from my university years. What unholy act from my past could I advise a friend against? There was the time I slept in a public garage bathroom because my friends made racists jokes and I was the kind of person who used to storm out in a self righteous huff when people said offensive things, and I had nowhere else to stay that night. Or there was the time my friend and I crossed a dangerous bridge in Cape Town, South Africa in the middle of the night and we were so scared of getting attacked we could hardly breath the entire way. I could advise my friends never to drink free wine and attempt to attend you Afrikaans literature class early the next morning. There are all these things I could advise my friends never to do, but that would make me a hypocrite, and my friends, old and new, will see right through me. You see, as I’m typing and remembering all the dangerous shit I used to get up to as a teenager, (and I’m not even telling you half of it, because I’m a respectable lady these days), as I’m telling you the snippets of scandal, my face is fashioned in a half smile, and my sleepy eyes are crinkling in the corners as I recall all the memories. Some are embarrassing, some make me sad, or angry, or scared for my past self, but all of them, every last indiscretion, have made me who I am today. I am wise, and wacky, and I have stories to tell. So, my friend, here is some advice, from my lips to you: live your life as you see fit, regret nothing, learn from everything, and kiss your loved ones while they are still around. And I’m going to go do just that right now. Annetjie out.